ARE YOU A PLAYER,
SPECTATOR OR A BENCH-WARMER?
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.OptimizeInstitute.com
It is so common to write goals that I’ll bet there are very few
people who do not know how. I’ll also bet, though, that there are
thousands of people who are diligent goal-setters who seldom become goal-getters.
Why is that? Why do we quit on ourselves? We talk a good game and then
sit on the bench. Sometimes, we even give up the uniform and become a
spectator at other people’s games. An armchair quarterback! We
have great advice for others that we seldom heed for ourselves. Have
you noticed how much easier it is…and more brilliant you are….when
you’re watching someone else’s game?
The sad thing is that there are far more bench-warmers and spectators
than players. Of course, that’s not unusual, but, goal-getting
is a game everyone can win! It’s a waste not to play. You deprive
yourself of exercising your potential, your imagination and your wings!
Want to make sure you stay in the game? There are four important tactics
in the Goal-Getter’s Handbook:: self-esteem, procrastination, risk
and focus. These will have you on the field and winning the game every
week.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SELF-ESTEEM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In some games, height, weight, strength or talent play a large part
in your ability to play. The great news about the game of life is that
you can achieve no matter what your size or ability. It’s simple
to learn and all it takes is persistence.
Of course, you cannot win if you’re talking trash. Sure, you’ve
got good manners. You don’t talk trash to the others players. But,
are you talking trash about yourself in your head? If so, STOP! Your
first step to being a first string player is to believe you deserve to
win. That’s the key.
It’s a head game. First, you believe it is possible for you. Then
you see it already done. Visualize. And, then you go and do it!
The writer, Ray Bradbury, said it this way, “First you jump off
the cliff and build your wings on the way down.” You have to believe
that you are a ‘wing-grower’ before you jump. Trust me, you
are.
Until you are willing to put on the uniform of a winner, you’ll
only be a cheerleader at someone else’s game….and, likely,
resenting it all the while. You deserve to play!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
PROCRASTINATION
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
According to that brilliant philosopher, Anonymous, procrastination
avoids boredom. One never has the feeling there is not something important
to do. And, as a bonus, you can feel guilty, too. Terrific!
Strangely enough, procrastination is related to self-esteem. You keep
putting off your own good and sabotaging your success. What a way to
keep yourself small!
Overcome procrastination by taking one action step every day on each
of your five major projects. That’s all. Just one action step.
The productivity guru, David Allen, defines a project as anything that
requires more than one action step. You get stuck when you try to think
about taking more than one action step. You get overwhelmed by all that
needs to be done. So, you do nothing. The problem is that that course
of action also gets you nothing.
Think of basketball. You know that you’re going to need a whole
lot of points to win the game. But, you can only take one shot at a time
So, write one project at the top of each piece of paper. Write the next
action step required beneath it. Take that one simple action step. Return
to paper and write the next. Do it. And, so on. You can do one thing
easily.
Make sure you’re on the floor steadily taking one shot at a time.
Keep practicing.
^^^^^^
RISK
^^^^^^
Scary? For some, even the thought of risk sends them to bed with the
covers pulled over their heads.
If that is you, remember that there are degrees of risk. You get to
decide the size of risk that is a stretch for you. You just need a gentle
stretch
to grow. It is not necessary to leave family, home and country, bound
across the world, learn a new language or two, and sleep on tree platforms.
Just do one small thing that makes you a little bit uncomfortable.
Work up to it!
You’ve heard the adage: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Well,
it’s true. Do nothing, get nothing. What are you waiting for? No
one can take your shot for you.
Once you’re in the game, you’ll forget about the spectators.
You’ll forget about your fear. You’ll get out there and play
the game. Sure, it requires gumption. For some people, just suiting up
is a big step. Do it. Then, take the next step. Show up and declare that
you’re a player.
Step up. Step Out. Place both feet firmly in mid-air. Just do it, as
Nike says.
^^^^^^^^
FOCUS
^^^^^^^^
No matter what your game, you know how to score. That ball has to go
in that goal, over that line, into that basket. Keep your eyes on the
prize. Never lose sight of it. When your glasses fog up or your eyes
close, re-focus.
You have to know what you want. Be like Michael Jordan, the great basketball
player. He was cut from his high school team. Vince Lombardi did not
become a coach in the NFL until he was forty-seven. Both these men kept
their eyes on the prize. They knew who they were, what they could do,
and, most of all, what they wanted. Focus and persistence won the game
for them.
So, where are you in the game of life? Sitting in the bleachers? Warming
the bench? Cheering for the players? Or, scoring big-time? It’s
your choice. Be a player!
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
****************************************
Dr. Rhoberta Shaler is a ‘people skills’ expert—a noted speaker,
author, executive coach and Founder of the Optimize! Institute in Escondido,
CA. Dr. Shaler works with entrepreneurs, executives and their employees to
master the 'people skills' that grease the wheels of business and life—communication,
negotiation, conflict and anger management, mediation, networking. She is the
author of ‘What You Pay Attention to Expands’ as well as other
books and audio programs. Free coaching consultation. Visit www.OptimizeInstitute.com
or call 760.735.8686.
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