EVERY GOAL NEEDS A COMPELLING
'WHY'
© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
www.OptimizeInstitute.com
Goal Setting. You can likely do it in your sleep. You know all
the rules to make the perfect goal statements. You may even
know the differences among goals and objectives and action
steps. So, what?
Unless this knowledge gets you out of bed and on target
nearly every day, it's just taking up space in a file folder,
or on your PDA, computer or planner!
If you're still booking your journeys with the guilt-trip
specialists, your plan may be your ticket to sustained low
self-esteem. Don't let this happen! Your goals are important.
You cared enough about yourself to write them down. Don't shove
them out of sight. Give them life--enthusiastic, committed,
regular attention.
So, let's say that morning exercise three times a week is your
plan for reaching your major health goal. Great idea. You've
chosen your exercise format and it is a spirited walk of three
miles. The first week you leap out of bed no matter what. It's
effortless. You're on track! You feel good.
The second week you start well and on Friday you awake to the
sound of wind and rain. It's an exercise morning. It's raining
and, after all, it's Friday. Why don't I just pull the covers
over my head and get an extra hour of sleep? Followed by: (Pick one)...
- a) I've been good for almost two weeks. I deserve a day off.
- b) I can do it tomorrow instead.
- c) I don't want to risk getting a cold.
- d) I need to rest up for the weekend.
- e) Wet clothes smell bad.
- f) My hair will be a mess.
- g) It's good to be flexible with my schedule.
- h) Wet streets are dangerous. I might slip,
- i) ______________ Fill in your favourite.
Does this sounds at all familiar? Sure, We look for plausible
reasons that we can buy for justifying quitting on ourselves.
Plausible reasons that others will buy, too, just in case they
happen to ask.
You know what I mean. You go to work and someone says,
"Did you go for your walk this morning?"
"No. Didn't you see the weather?"
"Good thinking. You wouldn't want to get sick"
You let yourself off the hook. Other people let you off the
hook. What a great system! I think this is collusion to fail.
First you quit on your promises to yourself and then others
support you in that decision!
So, what could you do differently?
First, it is clear that any one of the many thoughts on your list
of reasons supporting pulling the covers over your head may be a
good one. In fact, all could be true. So, what's the problem?
The problem is you promised yourself you would exercise before
work today and your attention is on the wrong thing!
This is where the compelling 'why' comes in. Remember why you
chose the goal. Maybe you want your upper arms to stop jiggling
or your pecs to lift so that you feel comfortable in your
bathing suit. Maybe there is a history of heart disease or
diabetes in your family and you want to feel good about taking
care of yourself. Maybe there's a special occasion coming up
and you want to look your very best. Your high school reunion,
for example! Remember the compelling reasons why you chose your
goal. Maybe the only quiet time you have alone with yourself
each day is your morning walk. Remember WHY. This is a sure-fire
way to get yourself back on track.
When you hear the wind whistling and the rain whipping, don't
look for excuses, look for alternatives. You could go into the
living room and put on an exercise video or dance CD and go for
it. You'd be warm, dry, safe...and EXERCISING! You could do
some stretches and walk up and down the stairs for a while.
Again, you'd be exercising, demonstrating your commitment to
yourself.
One little shift in your thinking makes all the difference. Put
your attention on what you CAN do. Focus on the positive and
find alternate ways to meet your goal.
You'll feel better...and, you'll feel better about yourself.
Keeping your promises to yourself leads to unstoppable self-
confidence. Go for it!
(c) Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, San Diego, CA.
--------------------------------------
Dr. Rhoberta Shaler is a ‘people skills’ expert—a noted
speaker,
author, executive coach and founder and Director of the Optimize!
Institute in Escondido, CA. Dr. Shaler works with entrepreneurs,
executives and their employees to master the 'people skills' that
grease the wheels of business and life—communication, negotiation,
conflict and anger management, mediation, networking. She is the
author of ‘What You Pay Attention to Expands’ as well as
other
books and audio programs. Visit www.OptimizeInstitute.com or call
760.735.8686.
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